love is love

WE MOVED!

2009-03-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

sorry if this is a pain for anyone...

my lovely wife and i have decided to join forces and blog together over at wordpress. you can find our blog at http://mamababa.wordpress.com

hope to see y'all over there.

T

DUDE!

2009-03-19T19:44:00.001-07:00

I have so much to say but I can't quite come up with the words. This morning N got up and POAS. As you can see WE ARE PREGNANT!!

We are totally freaking out and very much surprised it happened on our first try. EXCITED! SHITTING OUR PANTS! EXCITED! SCARED! EXCITED! EXCITED! EXCITED! EXCITED! EXCITED! EXCITED!

"SYMPTOMS"

2009-03-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

It has been 7 days since our first insemination. We are trying to be realistic and not over analyze every little twinge N may be experiencing. That said, she did start experiencing some nausea last night and she had a little cry/laughing fit (over something seemingly manageable) when she got home from work this morning. It may be nothing.....but it may be something.

We are going to donors parents house out in the country to spend the night tonight. I'm excited to spend more time with them, they are super sweet and their home is very welcoming. Pickle is coming this time so I made sure to get him to the park and bathe him this morning so he can be as presentable as possible. He is sweet but so food motivated that he is hard to take out sometimes. We have had some chats and he has agreed to be on his best. I think he will be good.

I will try to get some photos of grandma and grandpas house this time. They live on a x-mas tree farm which, for me, adds an element of wonder to their property. Last time we were there we got a pretty wicked sunset. Not holding my breath for that due to the typical rainy northwest day that is happening here right now. Oh well, should be fun kicking everybody's butt at cards tonight!

SWIMMERS ARE SWIMMING

2009-03-08T10:52:00.000-07:00

Well we did it. Yesterday we got a super positive on our OPK and were feeling good about the donor drop off we had scheduled. Poor guy...he was so nervous when he came over but after a very stiff vodka and cranberry he was ready to go.

We took the dog to the park to give R some privacy while he did the deed. He called to let us know we had a package waiting for us at home. He has been such a trooper through this process and we really appreciate him and his time. He and N are like brother and sister so this particular part of this process is a bit weird for the two of them. They both hung in there yesterday though and we all did what we had to do to get the job done. N was pretty nervous but like I said she was a trooper and SWIMMERS ARE SWIMMING.

We had some friends (with a baby) over for dinner last night. Homemade mac and cheese with broccoli. It was seriously good! The baby, Maude, was so sweet and I held her most of the time they were here. Pickle was sweet giving her lots of kisses but unsure to the point of a warning growl when she kept grabbing his foot. Granted he had had a hard afternoon because we forced him to puke up the pair of N's panties he had eaten earlier in the day. Needless to say he had an upset belly the rest of the night. We are going to have to start thinking about changing some things before our baby comes. He and I have been so connected since he was a "baby" and soon he will become the "dog". Last night we had him sleep in the living room by himself for the first time. He did pretty good and only had to be put back on the couch a few times. I missed him but I have to tell you the bed felt HUGE. I guess I never realized how much space he really takes up when he is with us. He looks a little sad today, like he has a feeling of what is to come. I know that seems silly but he is REALLY smart.

R is coming over in an hour or so for round #2. We are feeling really good about our timing and are both really hopeful. N just yelled from the bathroom that she is feeling some cramping and she knows it's not gas. Here we go....

Will keep you posted....

TOMORROW

2009-03-06T18:52:00.000-08:00

We are pretty sure we are getting close. Its looking like we will be calling on the services of our donor tomorrow, Sunday, and Monday. Nice thing is he starts his new job on Wed. so if we needed him Tue. we could probably sweet talk him into driving across town one more time.

Stay tuned...

EXCITED!

2009-03-03T20:29:00.000-08:00

I want to thank the folks at www.lesbianfamily.org for adding me to the TTC list. N has been reading TTC blogs for a long time and I finally just started getting into it too. I'm super excited to have a virtual community who is going through many of the same things we are. Also, it's nice to put a face to some of the names N has been talking about for months. We don't actually know any other lesbian couples who are TTC or even any who already have kids. You are it my virtual friends so I thank you for inviting us into your lives and sharing something so intimate. It sure is helpful to know you are out there paving the way for those of us who follow in your footsteps.

It's cycle day 9 on our first TTC cycle and the excitement is building....

EGGS

2009-03-02T19:21:00.000-08:00

So I head out to the "coop deville" a few days ago and found 3 perfect eggs....

Now I know what you might be thinking so let me assure you that all three of those eggs came from our grown hens. I don't know exactly who laid the tiny brown one (maybe Dorthy) but it totally cracked me up. As I sit here tonight I see a deeper meaning in the tiny "different" egg. I love it just the same as the others, I treated it with as much care and tenderness as the others, and will be just as grateful for it's nourishment when I eat it up.

I hope that as a parent I am able to clearly see the special uniqueness of our children and love them unconditionally. I hope I can be the kind of parent who is sensitive to a child's needs even if he/she is "different". There are so many unknowns in my future and they are headed toward me at quite a rapid rate. Today is cycle day 8 of THE CYCLE and for those of you who don't know what that means....it means we are going to start trying to for babies as early as this weekend! I can't wait to be a baba.

So please cross your fingers and hope that this is happening for us this coming week.....

TO MY WIFE

2009-02-18T20:03:00.000-08:00

TO MY WIFE...

I miss you.

Isn't it amazing that we have each other? I can't imagine this life of mine without you in it. We may not spend as much time together as we would like but we will have years to make up for this. I will rub your head when your hair is gray...deal?

Thank you.

I don't know how you do it, love. Seriously, when I think about the sacrifices you are making for this family I often wonder if I could do it myself. I'm not sure i could. I hope you feel supported and loved by me every single tired minute of every graveyard shift you ever work. I'm going to make sure you have everything you need when you start making that baby of ours. I can't wait to take care of you. I will, you know.

I am ready.

Ready to add a member (or two) to this family. Ready to hunker down and be your rock. Ready to embark on something that is so huge I can't even begin to use words to describe how I feel about it. I will be here when your worries get you down, when you feel sick, when you need some tender touches, when you need a little dance show in the living room, when you want a walking partner, when you want to kiss, when you want to cry, when you want to laugh (i know a joke or two), when you want to love. I am here. For. You.

We are getting so close, I can feel it.....

DON'T DIVORCE US

2009-02-10T21:06:00.000-08:00

This post needs no words from me....

NEW, BLUE, AND A LITTLE "F" YOU

2009-02-08T19:09:00.000-08:00

Finally, the record room I have been wanting to fix up is getting a paint job. Our little house is a 3 bedroom and until now we have really only been using one. Lucy the cat has been hanging out in one of the other two and the third.....lets just say its been collecting junk since we moved in. For those of you who don't know I have quite the extensive record collection and I have been wanting to convert all of my favorite albums to MP3 so I can put them on my ipod. It will be quite the undertaking and it will be interesting to see just how much I get done before the babys come. Either way it's nice to have the room be a bit nicer and not just a junk collector. It's not 100% yet but you will get the idea....

VINCE AT WORK

I'M EXCITED TO DECORATE

BEFORE

AFTER 1.

AFTER 2.

And now for whats blue...

We got our chickens last spring. Typically hens start to lay the fall after you get them. We got a few eggs last fall and one here and there into the winter (go rose!) but then the eggs stopped coming completely after the crazy storm in December. So, for awhile we gave up looking for eggs in the nesting boxes, then one day....

It's a bit hard to tell from these pictures but our little Blanch started laying blue eggs a few weeks ago. When I say started I mean it was her first ever. We are proud mommas. In the last few weeks all of the girls have really picked up the egg laying pace. Soon we will have to start giving them away.

And now for the "F" you...

This goes out to ANYONE who thinks they have the right to judge N and I for making the decision to be parents. It's 2009 people.

This song nails it perfectly!!

THE SKINNY ON THE 411

2009-01-28T20:40:00.000-08:00

THE CONDENSED VERSION:

2 women fall in love, want kids, need sperm, have a friend who is willing to let us have some of his, his parents are wonderful people who are more than excited to be grandparents, we negotiate with R (donor) for months, after many a happy hour get together we decide its a go, he gets his swimmers tested and scores above average, we tell our families who are all very supportive and excided for us, he tells his parents who are also very excited, we have hired a lawyer to help us take the steps necessary to protect our family to the fullest, next step is to finalize the lawyer stuff and then start trying for babies!! This is really happening...finally.

I have to say, for so many reasons I'm so glad I'm queer but it sure would be nice to be able to do all the freaking out, planning, and negotiating after getting pregnant. We have had to be so intentional through this process and work out details that most people would never dream to think of before conception. I'm ready...we are ready.

I will post new developments as they arise.

ADD IT TO "THE LIST"

2009-01-26T19:21:00.000-08:00

I feel like N and I have about one million things on "the list" right now. Isn't winter time supposed when you hunker down and watch a bunch of movies, get fat, wear cozy hats and cuddle? That is happening a little bit too but man have we been busy!! I almost feel like I want to throw my phone away. If you are anyone who knows me you know that is a very serious thing for me to say.

I really should consider "the list" more a set of milestones to a goal than a burden. Its not like my life is crazy busy and I have no idea why. I am very aware that my calendar is full because N and I are really working up to something big here. We are weeks away from trying to conceive a child. Most of you are probably wondering what that means and the big question, HOW???

For now I have to leave you hanging...my eyes are so tired and i need to get a good nights sleep. More to come soon.

SNOWMAGEDDON

2008-12-23T20:20:00.000-08:00

We are officially snowed in! We are breaking records here kids. In the 11 years i have lived in Portland I have never seen it snow like this. Being from Utah this kind of snow Is not new to me but I sure haven't seen it in a long time.

Nicole's boss called her yesterday and pretty much told her to not bother trying to come in for the next several days and my job site is completely closed until after x-mas. so....here we are. Honestly we needed to be snowed in. It really has gotten to the point with N's job where we never feel like we see each other. We have very little quality time together. Sunday is our day together but it is often taken up by social engagements or grocery shopping. Hot!

Although we are officially snowed in we have been able to make it out and about a little bit. We put chains on the car before the snow got too crazy and have been to the store and to play cards with some folks who live fairly close. It takes at least 20 minutes of defrost to even think about leaving the driveway but it has been worth it to get out of the house for a bit.

At this point I cant remember what days we did what activities so I will just name a few...

did a mini version of our annual bad x-mas light tour

made it to our favorite chicken wing restaurant

made banana pancakes

played lots of mille bourne (a french card game I just taught N)

we made snow ice cream

played canasta with ana and kenny

watched movies

started the second season of 30 rock

cozied up the house

have eaten WELL

nicole and pickle have had a few park dates

kept the chickens alive by thawing their water several times a day (poor girls)

we have had a kitty visitor named pants. temporary situation but its been nice to have him for a few days.

last but not least, got an effing virus on the laptop so if posts are slow to come in the next little while you know why....sorry Cindy!

the very best part of all of this is that Nicole and i have had lots of quality time. we have desperately needed this time to just be cozy and stuck in the house. We haven't even gotten close to killing each other yet. Tomorrow we will prepare our stockings and have a nice little x-mas eve, just the two of us....and pickle of course.

here are some pics from the last few days.....

Tonight is x-mas eve. We made it to the store today to get ingredients to make Hungarian soup. We plan to have a fire and snuggle with Pickle and open our stockings. It should be a sweet little x-mas eve. I will post pics in a few days.

Happy holidays to everybody,

T

2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!

2008-12-09T20:33:00.000-08:00

Its our anniversary today and its a little sad. N had to work at 8 tonight, so we didn't get much time together before she had to leave. I miss her already. Its not like its the end of the world that we didn't do anything for our anniversary. It would have been nice to go to dinner or something like that but real life gets in the way sometimes. I think what it ultimately comes down for both of us is that we are OVER her schedule!! I know she will stalk me from work tonight so I thought I would do a little something to entertain her. here goes...

It all started with a little snow

Myspace.
A joke...2 jokes. You must have really liked me.
This or that.
A date? Not yet.
Overalls. A date? YES!
Anna Bananas.
The dog park....You ran away!
Some tea.
A kiss.
Lunch on a rainy day.
LOTs of tea!!
Crabbing.
And the shuffle begins....

Remember this weekend? Mad on Mars and that hotel with wanda?

We have done a lot in the 2 short years we have been together. Weekend trips, road trips, plane rides...domestic and foreign. Bought a house, made a home, loved.

Sometimes you are a nasty little thing but I love you more than anything in the world, baby!

I mean who is cuter than us?

I mean hotter.

Costa Rica?

I'm sorry our night wasn't perfect like last year but It sure does comfort me to know we have many years to come. You got a real deal this year with that buy one year get one free. Thats my little miser!!

baby, the way you move is right in time with me....

xoxo

T

A LITTLE LESS GRINCHY

2008-12-08T17:07:00.000-08:00

As i mentioned before, my heart size has increased about 2 sizes this holiday season. just uploaded the pics and thought i would share....

We went to get our tree yesterday. We decided to drive across town to go to a tree stand with a good cause. We got our tree from "voo-doo doughnuts" this was amazing for several reasons....1. the proceeds went to benefit homeless youth and 2. we got a coupon for 2 free doughnuts. Now, these are no ordinary balls or grease. The variety at voo-doo is outstanding! Lets just say if you want a tang doughnut you can have one...or how about a captain crunch doughnut? no? Well, you could always go for the maple bacon (with real bacon strips on it)!! Just sayin....

Before we left I told Pickle that we were going to bring the park to him. He was confused but i think he gets it now. Quite the little helper...

Picky with his very own ornament....

The whole family...

LOVE IS LOVE

2008-12-07T20:24:00.000-08:00

I guess if everybody and their frickin dogs are blogging, i should too. Pickle encouraged me to start this thing so here we are. He will be helping me through the process since he is like 10 times smarter than me.

A little history on our family....

Pickle and i have been together for just under 6 years now. It was love at first site and we recount the day we met, often. He was my guy instantly! I never knew i could love a dog as much as i love him. I tell people we share a soul and I'm mostly not kidding.

Pickles favorite things:

1. food
2. me
3. his mom (Nicole)
4. the park
5. his ball (especially when its new and still has a squeeker)
6. bones
7.rolling in shit at the park
8. his lobster toy
9.keeping the yard squirrel free
10. chickens

Almost exactly 2 years ago the sweetest girl you have ever met came and changed everything. While avoiding her homework one night, Nicole was doing a little stalking on myspace. It just so happens she thought i was cute and asked me to be her friend. After 10 days of daily emails and a phone conversation i convinced her to go on a date with me. On December 9th we will have been together 2 years. On our one year anniversary we exchanged rings to symbolize our love and commitment to each other. Fortunately we live in a state that recognizes our commitment legally through "domestic partnership" which means we have the same legal rights as a married couple. the first day we could (February 4th 2008) we were at that courthouse to file the paperwork required to make our commitment legal. I could go on and on about this subject and how i think its a disgrace that this country can't get passed their religious bigoted views to see that my civil rights should not be something that gets voted on...that love is love and it shouldn't be up to anybody else to tell me who i can and cant love. I will leave it at that but i think you get my point.........

Now back to my sweet girl. N finished her medical lab technician program and has been working in her field for just over a year now. I have also recently finished an apprenticeship and I'm a full fledged electrician. It is really nice to be in similar places in life where we are both establishing successful fulfilling careers. We bought our house just over a year ago and have really enjoyed making a home together. We have already done so much to improve it and make it ours. Last spring i built a chicken coop and we raised 4 beautiful hens, last summer we had a stamped concrete patio put in the back for lounging and fires in our fire pit, in the fall we hired some friends to build a beautiful fence and landscape our front yard and it looks amazing!

N and I took a trip to Costa Rica in November and it was really wonderful. I will try to post some of those pics but most of you have already seen them so....

Is everyone sitting down? Good cause what I'm about to say may shock you.....I have decided to get a christmas tree and hang some stockings. I know, I know it seems unreal right? Well, I've decided to try to be a more accommodating partner to N who loves certain things about this time of year. Honestly it's not worth the conflict and I'm actually enjoying it a little bit, however, the no present rule still applies. I haven't de-grinched that much people. We got our tree today and pickle was such a good little helper, I think its cause he is excited about his special ornament.

pickle and i are really excited about our new blog and will try to keep everybody updated on the reg.

peace,

T